Feel The Bern?
It’s hard to talk about politics because … I’m an idiot.
Without taking sides I just notice everyone calling Bernie Sanders unrealistic.
No shit. Every person running for president is promising things that won’t happen. If you believe any of them. YOURE unrealistic.
I’m not saying they’re lying. I don’t think Obama was like “I’ll tell them I’ll close Gitmo on day 1 but really wait 8 years. Muhaha. and THEN I’ll give them FREE HEALTHCARE! MY EVIL PLAN!”
I think a more likely scenario is that Obama was like “I’m going to close gitmo on day 1” and then he got elected and the government was like “uh that’s where we keep our alien hostages. So. No.”
Obama is like “WTF! I just promised everyone I would close it.”
The government is like: “Fine. Give us a few years. By the way that shit is expensive. Can you raise taxes a little bit?”
So when Bernie says he’s going to throw all the bankers in jail and college is free. Do I think that’s gonna happen? Fuck no. But I think I’d rather have someone who is going to try.
You think Bankers are going to jail, you’re outta your fuckin mind. I think
the best we can hope for is no more overdraft fees. That’s how government works. Compromise.
I started comedy 7 years ago thinking I’ll sell out stadiums one day. Is it going to happen? My magic 8 ball says yes. That’s good enough for me. ????
Sorry I said I wouldn’t take sides. I just talked myself into it.
I’m also cool with Hillary. I’m cool with Anybody but Trump probably. If Hillary wins, we have another corrupt president. Whooptie Doo. We’ve been doing that for the last 50 years. If Trump wins, he’ll probably bomb people we don’t want to bomb and then we’re all fucked.
On the bright side. What if Trump WAS the solution? You ever seen that movie double jeapordy? She gets framed for killing her husband, so she gets out on parole, tracks him down, and kills him for real? America is like Ashley Judd. Everyone fucks with us because they know we won’t do anything back. But what if we start bombing people for real?! Then they’re like “Oh shit. We shouldn’t fuck with them. They’re gonna start nuclear war and then we all die. So for the greater good, let’s try just being peaceful.”
It could happen right?
