Lingerie Football League – Seattle Mist

I went to a Lingerie Football game the other day. Which is a thing. It’s basically what you might imagine. Remember High School PE how you had to let a girl be QB once every 4 downs? LFL is like that. ALL THE TIME. Every play is almost an interception or a touchdown at the same time. Girls playing football and hitting each other in sports bra’s and underwear. There are helmets and shoulder pads, but no chest pads. I guess whoever was making up the rules was like “Yeah well, they don’t need them, they’ve got two giant pads here on the chest already.” Which isn’t fair. I don’t know how an elbow to the tit feels, but it can’t be great. If it’s even one tenth of what a kick in the dick feels like, I want no part of that.

Anyway, I show up to the game. You gotta get there early because the most important part of Lingerie Football is the pre game stretching. You don’t want them to get injured. Bend down further. Ok. They’re blasting Lil Wayne songs over the loudspeaker, which, is too much. I feel like I’m degrading women just by being there. I don’t need a guy crooning about a woman’s “Filet Mignon”. The actual game was interesting enough. They hit surprisingly hard. They do not like each other. I was pretty happy with the entertainment value. Although I looked it up they only play like 6 games a year. There’s only 12 teams. I’m thinking expansion. I don’t know where Rack City is. but I think they should have a team.