Help Us, Help You

by Andrew · December 26, 2012

Right after the election, I was in a small town in the Midwest. I overheard a guy saying “The reason Obama won the Election is because stupid people are breeding too fast and voting for him.” Hold on, remember when we asked for free Birth Control and you said No? HELP US, HELP YOU.

and you know what. I call bullshit. I’ve been around the country. 25 states, and mostly blue ones. but if there’s one thing I’ve learned. The small towns in the Midwest are definitely NOT BREEDING FAST ENOUGH. /Sarcasm

(Side story: I was in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Yes, I’m bragging. I went out to the local dance club after a show on a Saturday night. because I’m a people watcher. I write some of my best stuff trying to put myself in my old elements with my new state of mind and wonder what was going on. I still get scared of shootings but a lot of places give pat downs and have security. The midwest loves their guns ya know. Anyway, I met a mother and her daughter drunk on the dance floor together. I asked if she thought it was weird she was out partying with her daughter. She had a puzzled look, like why would I even think of that. They added me on facebook later after discussions about me being the comedian. The daughter also has 2 kids. So yeah, I think the stupid people are definitely breeding too fast. but they’re probably not liberals.)

I live in Seattle and I’m poor, so yeah I’m gonna tend to lean a little liberal. but I do try to look at things in a “fair and balanced” light. but you can’t say we’re sluts and whores for asking for a couple bucks a month for Birth Control and then complain we’re making too many liberal babies.

Liberals in the city are focused on careers and small families. You can’t fit 8 kids in a downtown condo.

Here’s a couple videos somewhat on topic:

This is me in Wisconsin. I turned a joke about the Seahawks into a political thing, just briefly and mostly in jest. Then I congratulated them on being a blue state. and even in a big city, amongst the laughs, there were plenty of “ooohhh” and I could feel the crowd getting tense so I went back to the routine. That was enough political ad libbing, lets fall back on “hey, the problem is the system!” :