Doin 55 in a 54
I’ve been on the road for over a month now and been pulled over twice. I got a speeding ticket, like an idiot at 2 in the morning in Kentucky. I probably would’ve gotten a warning if I had my papers in order but somehow I misplaced my insurance info, which I specifically checked for when I left on the road.
The other one wasn’t my fault, and has happened before. I was driving through TN and a K9 unit saw me and decided to follow me for a while until he could find a reason to pull me over. The k9 cops on the highway do tend to single me out, because I’m young and I’m black and my hats real low. haha. (basically because I have out of state plates) or “Following too close” – They’re looking for drug runners, and it doesn’t help my cause when they pull me over and see fast food wrappers everywhere. “Are you sure you don’t have pot?” “I know what this looks like.”
He starts asking why I’m out here from Washington, I say “I’m a comedian.” he says “You’re a comedian? You haven’t made me laugh yet.” I’m like “Yeah, I’m not very good. That’s why I’m driving.”
He goes on to tell me that interstate 40 is the number one traveled highway for serial killers. Who’s keeping track of that? Is that why you pulled me over? I fit a profile. Single white male, traveling alone. Sleeping in his car. Hasn’t showered in a few days. Probably a serial killer. He goes “Yeah, you fit a profile. Of a victim.”
I was talking to my friend about it, he said “Eventually, you want to get to a point where you stop telling people you’re a comedian, and they start recognizing you.” and I whole heartedly agree. I don’t walk into the movie theater: “HEY IM A COMEDIAN!” – Except when getting my haircut because they are some nosey bitches. “You off work today? You’re in early. What do you do?” What’s up with all the questions supercuts? I just want a haircut at 2pm.
That said, when a k9 officer pulls you over, is the wrong time to start getting dodgey with the answers. “So what brings you all the way out here?” “oh nuthin. Just work stuff. I don’t really wanna talk about it. Don’t worry, I’m not selling drugs.” That’s another 2 hours on the side of the road while the dog is trying to smell something besides red bull and broken dreams.
