I Know Too Much

I know too much about life and it breaks my heart sometimes. I just started watching a new show called “The 100” on Netflix. Pretty fun. but this hot slutty girl gets attacked by a giant eel thing and I’m like “No way they kill her on episode 1. We haven’t seen her naked.” Sure enough Nerd Boy jumps in, saves her and then they fall in love. Later in the episode. He dies trying to impress her.

Moral of the story. Stop trying to impress girls. It only gets you killed. You can die alone and maybe pretty sad, but you know what’s more sad than dying alone? Dying way too soon because of a girl. Maybe. Then again. Maybe that’s selfish thinking. I used to think Selfish was a bad word. If someone called me selfish now, I would just agree. Look, we don’t need to repopulate earth anymore, I don’t need to chase any of these bitches around to make a baby. I’m going to enjoy my time here for now.

This is part of a longer running theme I’ve yet to uncork. Women ruin everything. Every dumb thing I’ve ever done was because I was trying to get laid.