Red Flags

You ever look back on a relationship and wonder how you missed all the red flags? For example. I was with a girl. We weren’t dating but I would say we were close. She would probably disagree. but I would always joke around and she would always laugh and say ‘I hate you.’ (I know! I’m an idiot.) and sometimes she did it in public. My friends would be like ‘Did she just say she hates you?’ and I’m an idiot like ‘No. That’s just our little game. I give her all the attention and love she desires and she tells me she hates me. It’s just our thing. It’s our little inside joke.’ SHE TOLD ME SHE HATED ME. Consistently. How much more obvious do I need? Maybe we could get matching tattoos. Mine could say ‘Tiffaine’ and hers could say ‘Some Other Guy.’ and we’d laugh and laugh. What a funny joke.” You see all these movies. “How to lose a guy in 10 days.” Really? It takes you 10 days? I’ve got a sequel. How to lose a guy in 5 words. “I Think I’m Preg- Nant!” That wasn’t even 5 words, but the guy is black so he can’t read.