Women Approaching Me, Counter Terrorism and Dick Jokes

I feel like all of my new potential bits start out the same way. “So I met someone interesting the other day. They said this:”

So be it. I’m situationally aware. I pick up on these things.

Sometimes girls will approach me after a show. Which is cool. It makes me feel famous until I get in my corolla to drive myself home to kirkland.

One girl had her friend bring me a note with her number on it. I was like that’s ridiculous. Are we in 3rd grade come on. So I text her and she comes over. and I was like “… you should go back to leaving notes.”

Another time a girl comes up to me and says “I could never have the balls to do stand up comedy.” I got a little swagger in my step. I was like “Yeah. It’s not for everybody.”

So I’m like “What do you do?” she goes “Well, Im still in school but I just applied for a job with the CIA. I’m studying the evolution of recruitment tactics used by Al Queda.”

I started laughing, your job has lives depending on it. I tell dick jokes for a living. Please don’t put me on a pedestal. Nobody gets killed if I mess up my job. Unless I’m performing in Tacoma.