The Palm Reader Pt 2

So here’s the part of the story that I’m actually using on stage once in a while. Seems to be going over nicely. If you missed it, I decided a crazy idea just to get more material would be to go to a palm reader. I thought I’d kill 2 birds with 1 stone and bring a girl. Things got interesting. It should be noted. Much of this is exaggerated for comedic effect. In case anyone actually reads this. Don’t forget. The website says “comedian” up top. Nevermind.

I went on a date with this girl. The first date was awesome. We went out to a bar, we had a few drinks and she paid for her drinks and I was fuckin… in love. lol. I’m broke y’know. Anything you can do to save me money is a turn on. If she worked for Geico we’d be married on the spot. So the second date I thought hey let’s spice things up. Try something crazy. We got a palm reading done. Now. If you’re thinking about doing that. Stick to alcohol. There’s a reason it’s the “Go To” after all these years. So this palm reader comes over to her house and she’s getting really into it but a little too into it. Like she starts crying and freaking out “omg the curtains are moving. It’s the spirits.” I’m like “no it’s fucking windy. The weatherman said that would happen is he a psychic too?” We keep going and he’s totally cock blocking me the whole time. Talkin bout how… she’s not ready for a relationship and I’m looking for a relationship right now. Which is bullshit, cause I just wanted to fuck. but I can’t tell her that. What a stupid idea. $100, end of the night, I’m still reading my own palm.