Pandoras Box

Twitter is actually a latin word for spam bot.

I have probably 300 followers. I’m sure at least half of them are fake accounts designed to generate web traffic. The thing is, they work. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a common theme. Nobody keeps doing something that provides zero results. So even if 10% of people who get a new follower are like “hey let me see this guy’s website” and then it’s like “Make your penis bigger”. Even if they click X immediately, they still got a visit. And if every 1 in 10 people who get tricked into visiting are like “hmm.. I DO have a small penis.” and consider the product. Boom. Marketing solutions. Spam works.

Anyway, these spam bots pick up on keywords in your tweets. I think I made a joke on twitter about hookers and the next day I was getting followed by a Las Vegas escort service. When I made a joke about them, I was soon getting followed by an Oakland Escort Service. I made a joke about the two of them fighting for my love, winner take all. Nothing happened. 🙁

So as you can imagine with my dating life and my parents constant disapproval of it taking center stage with my act currently, that tends to be the topic of most of my tweets. Today I checked twitter. “@datingwomensex” is now following me. An online website to help men achieve success with dating. I’m not completely opposed to the idea of taking advice from someone who claims to be smarter than me. So I browse through the website. I’m immediately turned off by an article that says “6 steps to getting back with your ex girlfriend.” – Look. Maybe that’s why I’m single but there’s a reason she’s your ex. If her ass was that perfect, you’d still be together. Forward thinking, my friends. How do you expect to succeed when you can’t get over something that happened like 2 years ago (or however long it was). Just my opinion on the matter.

The box set of DVD’s they sell on their website is called “Pandoras Box.” Pandoras Box comes from Greek Mythology. Basically the story goes like this: Some god named Zues gives this chick Pandora a box and was like “Dont open this.” (This is how every story goes. Why doesn’t anyone ever listen?) She opens it and inside it is literally “All the evil in the world” and it comes out to the world. The only thing left inside the box is hope. The more current usage could be what my friend was once told by an auto mechanic when he brought his car in for repair. “Look, we fixed the spark plugs, but they’ll probably go out every once in a while. We could open it up and take a look but it’s probably pandoras box.” basically: To open Pandora’s box means to create evil that cannot be undone. “TO CREATE EVIL THAT CANNOT BE UNDONE” – So. marriage? basically.

Some might say when you come home and you ask your wife what’s wrong and she says “nothing” with the tone of voice that means “everything.” That could be pandoras box. DONT OPEN THE BOX! BACK AWAY SLOWLY! lol. If that’s the kind of advice they’re giving you in this dvd set, sure, maybe an appropriate name. Otherwise, no.