Champagne Showers

For the first time in many years (probably since the first day I’ve had one) my credit card balance is at zero (today). Economic Crisis: Solved. You’re welcome, America. Now I can afford to spray bitches with champagne again. (Again! like I’ve done it before.) Anyway. Just kidding. (mostly. Unless there’s a chick who wants a champagne shower. I’m totally down for giving her that. It just has to be cooks or something less expensive.) right now I need tires for my car. The tires that come with it are rated for 50k miles. I’m at 65k. Luckily it’s dry out, but still. I’m cutting it close here. I am about to go on a couple trips in the next few months. I should get some more tires.

That joke usually does pretty well. I say it a little differently in my act. I don’t know that I ever blogged it. “My parents think rap music taught me to objectify women at a young age and thats why I’m still single: That’s not true. The problem is, these bitches don’t know what they’re missing out on. I think that if the subliminal messaging in rap music is rubbing off you would see that in other areas of my life. Rappers love to pour champagne on women. I would never do that. I can’t afford champagne. and bitches don’t like it when you spray them with sprite.”

I wonder where that comes from. First off, I enjoy a good meaningless party jam as much as the next rap fan. but most of the stuff in my itunes library would put me in the hipster rap category. There’s lots of good messages in some it. I was watching a documentary on a classic rap album and they broke down every song and talked about it and I thought this would be fun to watch with my dad. Just to see how open minded he would be or what his reaction would be because he loves to poke and prod with little jokes here and there but it’s hard to imagine him still hating rap music once he understands it. I dunno. Just a thought.
This is a cool clip on my favorite rapper Jay-Z explaining a couple lyrics for one of his songs. He had a book come out that was excellent called “Decoded” where he told stories of his childhood and upbringing and explains every lyric behind the song. Admittedly there’s a great amount of rappers that wouldn’t be able to do that on a serious level, but don’t chop down the tree because of one bad apple.