Felony Love

Heres the deal. I’ve had a bunch of these stories stuck in the drafts hoping I could revisit them and make them funny and/or worth reading. Not happening. So since I’m in a slump and haven’t thought of much else new I thought I’d release them. I’m still writing and re writing, but just fine tuning my set, nothing new. but if you visit here looking for new material. It just looks like I’m slacking.

So here. Enjoy these crappy stories.

I met a girl today who told me she was in love with a guy who was in prison. For life. For Murder. (no, not CJ.)

This girl has got to be crazy. I don’t understand. While you’re scratching at the bottom of the barrel. Why not settle for Stand Up Comedian?

I’ll tell you one thing about that murderer. He’s got game. If he can get a girl to fall in love with him while he’s in prison for murder. I have got no excuse anymore. Nobody has any excuse for that matter.

Everyone’s got skeletons, but usually you don’t have reveal those things on the first date. You don’t want to tell the girl about your 2 kids, or herpes (hack), or your neck tattoo (hacky mchackerson).

How do you avoid the murder part? What are you doing here? “Just visiting?” “Why are you wearing that jumpsuit?” “I’m studying for a movie role?”