My Brother Has an Assistant

We’ve covered previously how my brother has become a successful business man lately. The context is important. I’ve known he’s had an assistant but the other day it just hit me. My brother has an assistant.

The other day I called my brother on his cell phone. His assistant picked up the phone because he was in a meeting. I was like great. Now my family members are screening my calls. “Who is it? Andrew? Ah, he’s probably gonna ask for money again. Tell him I’m in a meeting..” So he asks if he can take a message. I was like, no, I was just calling to see if we were meeting for a family dinner tonight. He goes “I don’t know anything about it, do you want me to call your parents and ask?” I’m like “No. You’re not my assistant. Wait. You’ll do that for me? Is it gonna cost me?” So now I’ve started abusing my brothers assistant. “Yeah. Keith said he wants these taxes done. I don’t know why he wants you to do my taxes but he told me to give ’em to you.” “Hey there. Keith told me to tell you to find out who books the tonight show and kidnap their children. I don’t know why? I don’t ask questions. Keith told me.”

Now most of the time I can get ahold of my brother. But it made me think of other odd situations. Like what if your family member was the president. What if your dad was the president? How do you get ahold of him? Can you call him? “Daddy’s bombing pakistan right now, I’m gonna have to call you right back, honey.” “Dad, can I borrow some money for rent?” “I told you tlast time was the last time..” “Really dad? You borrow millions from the national debt to pay for healthcare but you can’t give your son a couple bucks?”