Traveling

Just wanted to let my 2 readers know I’m on the road for the next 6 weeks. That’s my excuse for everything. Bad reception, Bad blogging, AIDS. It’s not my fault. I was on a roadtrip. Got a bunch of things to talk about as soon as I get some time. Stay Tuned.

Right now I’m stealing WiFi from McDonalds somewhere in Wisconsin.

I know it sounds borderline crazy but the weather is perfect. It’s like 40 degrees and sunny. I’ve barely run into any snow and the roads have been perfect. Mother Nature doesn’t know it’s January. Or it’s just meant to be. Maybe someone is looking out for me. Things keep happening. I know it sounds like I belong in an institution but it just works out. This business can eat you alive and sometimes I think it might.  I’ve gotta use whatever motivation I can to keep going, even if it’s just lucky weather. Considering how scary this drive COULD have been. I’ll take getting here early and sleeping in my car 3 nights in a row over stranded on the side of the road in a blizzard.

By the way. Sleeping in my car is very uncomfortable. Thankfully, McDonalds food and driving all day makes you very tired, very quickly. My friend called me crazy a few weeks ago, I was reflecting on Patrice’s death (and my own brush with dehydration) and how comedians are (at times) forced to live a lifestyle that is abusive to their body for so many years and how I wanted to treat myself right when I was actually home and try to change once I was able to. Anyway. Enough sappy shit. Where are the dick jokes? Coming. see? Bam!

I was on my dads show the other day talking about how traveling affects my dating life. I’m gone for six weeks. How many girls are willing to wait for that? Joe mentioned that lots of women wait years for men fighting overseas. I was like I’m not fighting a war. I’m telling dick jokes. There’s nothing admirable about what I’m doing. Nobody is gonna be giving me a medal when I come home.