Who am I gonna tell?

Often times as a performer, people want to tell you great job, or connect with you on facebook after a show. I love that. I enjoy when people seek me out.

Some people take it too far. Because I’m kinda the celebrity child, I get people saying weird things that are fans of my dad. “I listen every day, he talks about you all the time, I feel like part of the family.” What do I say to that? “ohhh k? So my birthday is in April. Can I get some gas money? I’ve gotta drive to Iowa next week.”

Tonight I’m chatting up a couple lladies who were with guys but being flirtatious. One was more shy, and damnit if she wasn’t the hottest girl I’ve seen since …I looked at porn this morning. I mean you can find hot girls on the internet all the time. I think I’ve blogged that joke about how I just want a really hot girlfriend. “The main thing I look for in a woman is that she is extremely out of my league. Buy low, sell high. etc..” but sometimes you realize how many people there are, beautiful is NOT that special. It is. Because you’re hot. but there are a TON of cute girls. I never feel discouraged if a cute girl doesn’t want to talk to me or if I don’t like her personality. There are so many beautiful girls. I don’t understand why guys put up with shit from a girl because she’s hot and they don’t feel like they’ll get another one. Beautiful is not that special. It’s common. The personality is much more rare. Now, that doesn’t mean, I don’t care about looks. I’m just saying, that’s not the only reason to be with someone. Beauty is not special.

hookerThe other reason is that, every person has a different opinion on what beautiful is. I have changed my mind by the morning several times. I have really good friends who I agree with on everything and we argue about if that girl is cute or not and honestly, That’s the main reason I’m friends with them. That way if we go out together, we don’t have to argue over who gets the ugly one. He’s not going to hit on a girl I like. but we always agree when a girl has a shitty personality. That’s way more rare a girl with good looks and good personality.

Anyway, as it goes, the shy one is one of the more beautiful girls I’ve seen in person in a while. She’s single. Her friend is dominating. Loud. Still pretty attractive. I would totally hit on her, if she wasn’t near her friend. lol. but she’s a little annoying. She starts telling me her life story. Which is fine. Everyone loves to talk. I get it. Talking about her kids. Then she tells me about how her and this guy she’s with met on craigslist. You see, she runs a business, and he was on there looking for something and decided to email her. The obvious joke is “oh you’re a hooker.” and she was quick to make those jokes. I think they were jokes. She was joking? No she wasn’t. She kept using air quotes with “business” and saying “you know… umm auto parts…” and I’m like “I get it, casual auto parts” and then she’s telling me about how she has all these girls on her roster and blah blah blah. Part of me wants to believe it’s just a clever lie she tells people.

You know how some people are like “I’m a comedian” but really they just have a famous dad who lets him tell jokes on stage. but he’s not really a “comedian.” it’s just a thing they tell people. She was adament about the whole thing. My friend and I keep looking at each other like why is she telling us this? We’re trust worthy, right? Who are we gonna tell? *breaks fourth wall* I guess I’ve got my Corporate Holiday Party Schedule all figured out for this year.

 

 

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